jonny-hates-marketing

The Social Media Monkey

I’m constantly amazed by Simian levels of stupidity, anger and aggression on social media.

Particularly from people who are trying to attract their ideal clients, presumably.

Here’s what’s not attractive, in a “magnetically drawing people towards you” sort of way:

  • Dramatically stating your position on the latest political hot-potato and warning readers in advance that if they disagree with you, they can unfriend you
  • Using the phrase “what you see is what you get with me” before announcing your outlandish, contrary opinion on a widely accepted issue
  • Posting a screenshot of someone expressing a viewpoint or behaviour that “offends” you, and slagging them off remorselessly
  • Filling your profile with consecutive begging posts about your favourite charity
  • Foisting unverifiable pseudo-science on us, whilst claiming that you somehow “know” it’s true and don’t care if we believe you or not
  • Tagging 98 of us in a pathetic spam offer-post that bears not the slightest resemblance to anything interesting
  • Posting a link to a YouTube video without any kind of clue what’s in it or why we should watch it
  • Telling us you’re having a “cull” of your friends, and we need to jump through some hoop you just made up if we are to survive it
  • Hijacking someone else’s post with a loud and obnoxious rant that gets astonished responses and isolates you as a nut-job
  • Posting “OMG I’m so sad/broken/scared/in pain”, hoping loads of us will say “Oh no, what’s up babe?” and then not replying at all

Here’s a much shorter list of what IS attractive, and WILL draw people towards you:

Offering value, support and expertise in a way that positions you as an authority in your field, as well as a smart, entertaining 3D-human.

That’s kind of it, really.

Love you lots
Jonny

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