In my 20s, I spent three years trying to help someone I loved. Advice, pep talks, subtle (and not-so-subtle) nudges.
Then one day, I stopped. Not out of despair, but when I finally got the memo: you can’t change people who don’t want to change.
I thought I was supporting her, but what she probably heard was a well-meaning mosquito buzzing constantly in her ear. I still believe what I said was useful.
But I stopped believing it was mine to deliver.
“Because he has given up helping, he is people’s greatest help.”
Turns out Lao Tzu knew a thing or two.
And the same applies in your 21st century coaching, therapy or consulting business. It’s not your job to change people. That’s their job, and they’ll do it in the space and time you give them to do it.
You want to be helpful? Start by shutting up, sitting still, and sorting out your own life.
Letting go isn’t giving up. Sometimes, it’s the best thing for both of you.
Love you lots
Jonny
PS: Did you know you can get paid by companies, organisations and their top executives as a sounding-board for their corporate and personal wellbeing?
Type “Sit still” in reply to this email, and I’ll send you a guide all about how to do that.